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hunterdetectivetimelord:

imclueingforlookss:

Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about history?
Me: image
Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about religion?
Me:
image
Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about psychology?
Me: image

Friend: Wow, where did you learn to cook?
Me:
 image

One of these is a lot more disturbing than the others

(via weepingangels91011)

Source: imclueingforlookss
Chat
  • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
  • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
  • --
  • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
  • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
  • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
  • Juliet: That was dumb of you
  • --
  • Romeo: We should get married right now
  • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
  • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
  • Juliet: Sure, fine.
  • --
  • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
  • Romeo: Right.
  • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
  • --
  • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
  • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
  • Juliet: For fucks sake.
Source: rainbow-femme
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revedas:

babynatxo:

dandelionpunx:

Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!

omg

Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.

(via jennstarkid)

Source: dandelionpunx
Photo Set
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clovette:

peetatoast:

shakeyourbuddah:

notkorra:

#that’s a fucking deep dentist visit

is your dentist also your therapist?

Your dentist should quit being a dentist and become a philosopher

my dentist just tells me i need to floss more

(via waffleconesandwater)

Source: theloneliestgirlonearth
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centaurs-other-testicle:

japert:

Friends with mean and overprotective parents

image

when they are so overprotective you guys can hardly hang out

image

Being the friend with overprotective parents

image

(via folieadontleaveryan)

Source: yeigar
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gbfrankie:

Pluto becoming a planet again has really taught us that if we complain hard enough about something, we can change things, even on a planetary level

(via folieadontleaveryan)

Source: gbfrankie
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arminsarmy:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.

(via terratheterror)

Source: marielovesgroban
Chat
  • Me: *calls u a nerd*
  • Me: *is actually very deeply in love with u*
Source: losings